The Lock-In Gatekeeper
SEAL
“The future can stop advancing the exact millisecond after I cash out my stock options.”
Character reading
Congratulations! You are the ultimate Silicon Valley hypocrite in a fleece vest! You scaled your accelerator-backed startup by shamelessly scraping every byte of open internet data, raised a $200M Series B, and the exact millisecond you built a proprietary moat, you co-signed a tearful open letter pleading with Congress to 'pause all frontier AI training for the safety of humanity.' You don't give a damn about rogue superintelligence; you're just terrified that two 19-year-olds in a Romanian dorm will replicate your entire enterprise API on four consumer gaming GPUs. Your moral crusade is just regulatory capture in a fleece vest.
The sting
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Loved open-source disruption until his Series B cleared; now cries in a fleece vest begging Congress to ban private GPUs before two college kids in a dorm replicate his entire startup.
Drafts open letters demanding a federal compute moratorium the instant private open weights beat his proprietary benchmark.
